if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
