mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
