it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
