I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
