my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
