I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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