it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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