Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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