her vagine was all disorganized.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
