we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
