if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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