Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
