I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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