Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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