And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
