i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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