we're chasing vodka with high fives
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
