Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
