Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
