i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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