Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
