OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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