i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
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