Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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