I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Did I show you my penis last night?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize