we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
