mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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