Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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