11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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