Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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