Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
