Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you had me at cake vodka
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
