I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
