exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
