I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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