me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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