If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't put those talents on a resume
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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