Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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