Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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