i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
