It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he was CRYING into my vagina
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
