I smell stomach acid.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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