how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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