Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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