Screwed.edu
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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