yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
