Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
