Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
