it hurts more in the daytime
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
