I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
