yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
