yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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