Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
