I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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