Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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