so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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