I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
