come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so let's talk penis.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
