my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
