the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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