glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
