Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
