People in love make me want to vomit
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
