To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
