White coat. Heels.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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