this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
