The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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