dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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