But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
