you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
