I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
