We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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